whatevermortal: (Default)
He was into them in high school, had their early albums and was into them in a vague sort of, oh I like these songs, sort of way. And then the fire happened and he lost track of the CDs for a while. But he finds his favourite, Howl, again when they’re living in New York and he puts it on and doesn’t really think that much of it until suddenly he’s hearing,

it’s easy to fall in love
when you’ve run your luck you know you’re done
and the last kiss had fool’s cost
now your tired eyes can only haunt

(‘Ain’t No Easy Way’)

It reminds him so viscerally of seeing Kate for the last time that he has to throw up. He doesn’t touch it again for a week, two weeks, going on three, and he can’t help it and he kind of thinks he deserves it. 

So he’ll hit play and ‘Shuffle Your Feet’ will start up with,

time won’t save our souls
time won’t save my soul

And it’s a kick to the gut, but he likes how it hurts because if it hurts then he’ll remember, and as long as he remembers then he can’t be tricked again.

All of it, though, the whole album, even the songs that don’t really hold any significance to him lyrically, has an feeling in the vocals and the music that speaks to him. He plays it all the way to Beacon Hills, blares it through lowered windows as he follows Laura south, and he has to stop the car just before he reaches Beacon Hills proper because ‘Complicated Situation’ comes on and—

so the sleeping children were awoke
in time to haze their eyes

—and he can’t deal. He has to stop and breath and find the anger, use the anger, because if he doesn’t he’ll fall apart and he doesn’t have time to fall apart. Laura needs him.

Later, he’ll listen to ‘Howl’ (I give you nothing to doubt and you doubt me / I give all that I have but you don’t see) and it will remind him of Scott and how fucking frustrating Scott is when they should be working together, when they need each other equally.

And the first time Stiles ends up in Derek’s car in a non-life-or-death situation, ‘Promise’ cuts in when he starts the engine,

there is a burden you cannot hide
but in their arms you feel so alive
and in a moment you’re cast aside

And Stiles doesn’t even seem to think before he says, “Jesus, that’s some morbid shit,” because of course he knows. Of course he figured it out on his own. It makes shame burn in Derek’s throat—shame and anger and fear—and he’s white-knuckling the steering wheel, but Stiles doesn’t say anything else about it. He starts babbling on about Derek’s car or school or something. The ebb and flow of Stiles’ voice is oddly lulling, and he’s back at low-grade anger, almost calm, where usually he’d be fuming all day and nothing short of a punishingly long run would help.

/my feels

I mean, favourite is maybe not exactly the right word, but this is Derek and Derek is weird ok. 

Oh, and Derek is wrong about Howl. Derek just assumes he is the subject of the sentence not the object, but it is actually Stiles' POV on Derek more than Serek's POV on Scott.
whatevermortal: (pincers)

as i struggle to be whole

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club Weight of the World
Chris Garneau Between the Bars
Something for Kate Feeding the Birds and Hoping for Something in Return
The Real Tuesday Weld It’s a Wonderful Li(f)e
The Smiths How Soon is Now?
Devotchka How It Ends
Everything Everything Kemosabe
Mumford and Sons Dust Bowl Dance
Modest Mouse One Chance
The Brian Jonestown Massacre Straight Up and Down
And ok I made a gif cover image for this before I found out that 8tracks doesn't actually let you use gifs unless you have a paid account. I'm really salty & sad about this & i'm sharing it under the cut so i didn't make it for no reason )


whatevermortal: (Default)

May 2015

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