(no subject)

we’re staring at the sun
oh my own voice
cannot save me now
standing in the sea
it’s just one more breath
and then I’ll go down

Oh oh, wait, I want to talk about this moment a bit too. Because I think, in this moment, Duke and Nathan could have reconciled. Nathan faced Duke's mortality for the first time and he realised that, no matter what he might say, no matter what he might try to convince himself of, he didn't want Duke to die.

He knows that Audrey went to tell Duke about the baby and he knows Duke is probably reeling from that and from his almost-death and, for the first time in years (months??? Haven's timeline is baffling), he goes to Duke because he's scared and he's worried and because he loves Duke. And Duke chooses to push him away instead.

Look at the middle row of photos! Look at how much pain is in Duke's expression when he sees Nathan outside. Look at how he steels himself to do it. You can see the exact moment he makes the decision not to let Nathan back in.

I don't think that's because he doesn't want them to reconcile, because it clearly hurts him to do it and it hurts how easily Nathan lets himself be pushed. I think he is feeling too bruised and hurt and raw to hide how deeply this has effected him, and Duke operates with a mask. He hates the idea of Nathan seeing him so clearly. I think he doesn't want Nathan coming to him out of pity now and then regretting it later. And part of it is also that he's still just as angry at Nathan as Nathan is at him.